On May 16, my son Owen turns 1. That will mean that my wife, Sarah, will have completed her first year as a mom.
Watching Sarah and Owen has taught me a lot about my relationship with my mom.
On an instinctual level, my wife and son bonded immediately and their bond was strong. I could see it the first time Sarah held Owen in the hospital. The bond grew as they shared experiences like his first smile, first laugh and first tears. They are inseparable now.
Owen needs Sarah as he explores his surroundings, and not just for safety. Fun is even more fun for Owen when his mommy is around. Laughing, he watches for her gaze as he crinkles a water bottle. Chasing the dog is much funnier if mommy is close behind.
As a boy venturing out into the world, I marked my accomplishments by distance. How far down the block could I go? How far could I pedal my bike or drive my car? Was college far enough away from home that I could stay on campus?
Naturally, these mile markers created some distance between my mom and I as I set out to prove that I was no longer my mom’s little boy. But whenever I took the time to look back, I missed the days spent with my mom: flapjacks at McDonald’s, then across the parking lot we went to K-Mart where I was allowed to pick out a Matchbox car.
But it wasn’t the toys and food that I missed. It was the time we spent together, like the time the family got its first microwave. Mom and I spent a day shopping for microwavable food and laughing as we tried out the doughy, unevenly cooked novelties like blueberry blintzes.
As a new dad, I am once again interested in closeness. I’ve just moved my family close to my parents so that Owen can have his grandparents at hand.
Now as Owen looks over his shoulder to see if his mommy is watching as he sprints across the room in his walker, my mom is able to see the smile on my face as well.
With a child of my own, I can empathize with how my mom felt whenever I cried. How she must have worried when I was out of reach. I can also see the love and dedication that have followed me through the years — even when I thought I was striking out on my own. Mom’s love was always there in the foundation it made and the wings it gave me.
We’ve been in my parents’ town for less than a week, but as Owen’s first birthday approaches, things have already come full circle. For the first time in years, I feel once again like my mom’s little boy.